The Top 10 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

The Top 10 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

The transition from">sock of the month Club to Cute Socks of the Month Club was not easy, but I’m glad I stuck with it. The first month, I received the cutest pair of knee-high socks with little strawberries on them, and I just knew that my life would never be the same again. They were so cute! So soft! And they smelled like sweet cotton candy!

1) Cute socks are better than sex

1. Cute socks are less messy than sex. The best part about cute socks is that they don't leave a mess on the floor, bed, or couch. In addition, if you want to share them with someone else, you can simply hand them over instead of having some awkward I need a shower talk.

2. Cute socks are more convenient than sex. With cute socks, you don't have to worry about interrupting what you're doing halfway through or getting interrupted by someone else! If your partner is looking for intimacy but all you want is something quick and dirty, cute socks are the perfect solution!

3. Cute socks last longer than sex usually does.

2) No more STIs

Sex is overrated anyway. It's too time-consuming and it will give you tons of STIs, which is just so not cute! Not only that, but sex can't do anything for you that a well-timed hug or a good cuddle can't. If you're really looking to make your life better, then commit yourself to being Philosockphy.

3) Never again have sex on your mind when you talk to someone you love

We live in a fast paced world. Social media, the internet, the news cycle. We're constantly bombarded with stories of people we know on television or in the movies that are more often than not having sex in some capacity. The message is clear--sex is what you should be doing if you want to be happy, fulfilled, popular... If you want a life worth living. But what if it's not? What if all that sex-having has just left you feeling empty, sad, and lonely? That's where Philosockphy comes in!

4) When you get the urge, throw on a pair of socks

When you get the urge, think of your favorite pair of socks. That's all it takes. The Philosockphy will take care of the rest. It might sound a little crazy at first, but when you break it down, it makes perfect sense.

5) Have cute socks in your drawer at all times

I'm not sure why you would ever need a reason to devote your life to cute socks, but here are ten:

-Cute socks make you happy. When you put on a new pair of socks, it's like putting on a new outfit. It changes your mood for the day. It's hard not be in a good mood when you have cute socks on! Plus, they make great gifts for friends and family members. Whether it's Valentine's Day or their birthday, there is always an opportunity to give cute socks as a gift.

-Cute socks never judge you.

6) No awkward sexual encounters with your ex

1. You will never have any awkward sexual encounters with your ex.

2. No one will ever accuse you of not being committed if you're married to your socks.

3. There's no chance that your kids will come out as gay because they'll be raised by your socks!

4. There's no chance you'll catch an STD from a sock! (I'm pretty sure that's impossible)

5. If you're the type of person who feels obligated to see their partner in bed, then you can get a dog instead!

6. You won't have to worry about how expensive it is to feed or take care of a sock!

7) Never again fear rejection from a romantic partner

I know what it's like when you feel that sense of worthlessness after being rejected by someone. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. Here are 10 reasons why you should give up on sex and devote your life to cute socks instead:

1) You can find a pair that matches your skin tone.

2) They're less expensive than a romantic partner.

3) They don't require emotional commitment or time commitment on your part (all they need is your attention).

4) No one judges you for wearing them in public, no matter what your gender is.

5) They won't break up with you because they discovered something new about themselves, like their sexuality or sexual preference.

8) Get paid for being an expert in cute socks

As someone who is an expert in cute socks, I have some advice for you. First off, your sock drawer should be organized from the most wearable at the top to the least wearable at the bottom. Secondly, don't wear mismatched socks! It's a fashion faux pas that will leave people thinking you're not taking care of yourself.

#1: Organizing your socks by time worn will help you keep up with how long they have been in use.

#2: If you're wearing mismatched socks, it's likely that one sock is too short or too long for the other.

#3: Don't wear sandals with socks!

9) No pressure about looking good naked

Sometimes the right pair of socks can make your day. That's why we've decided to come up with a list of reasons why you should give up sex and devote your life to cute socks.

#1 - They won't ever want more from you than a new package of socks on Valentine's Day.

#2 - They won't break into your house looking for clothes, underwear, or anything else when they're drunk...

#3 - They'll never barge in on you while you're changing after work...

10) Socks don’t talk back

1) They don’t talk back. 2) They never argue about whose turn it is. 3) They never send you a dick pic when you didn’t ask for one. 4) They never insult your appearance, even if you think you look like crap in the morning. 5) They never have any expectations of sex from you because they know that sex isn’t going to happen. 6) And they are ALWAYS there when you need them, no matter what time of day or night it is! 7) There's no chance of catching an STD from socks because they only come in one size...and there's not much they can do with their tiny feet anyway!