Giving Up Sex for Cute Socks

Giving Up Sex for Cute Socks

If you’re like most people, you probably have an underwear drawer full of socks. Unfortunately, most people have collected so many pairs of socks that they don’t know what to do with them all. If you’re looking to declutter your sock drawer and give yourself some space back in the process, there are plenty of ways to do it other than throwing away those worn-out ankle socks. Instead, consider buying your next pair of cute socks as part of a sock of the month club or paying for a monthly subscription to get fun and unique socks delivered straight to your doorstep.

My Top 5 Reasons to Give Up Sex

#1 - Your socks are cuter than you. #2 - You want to lose weight. #3 - How will you know how pretty you look if you don't see yourself? #4 - The only person who wants to have sex with you, is your mother. #5- I am cuter than what's in your pants! Now that I have your attention, please continue reading...

#1: No One Wants to Have Sex With Me Anymore

You’ve probably heard of or even experienced at some point in your life that your sex appeal declines with age. That is a very real thing and it is something you should be prepared to face. As you get older, your body will change and so will your attractiveness. It’s not just about looks either; getting older also changes how you handle yourself and can impact who wants to sleep with you (or be seen with you).

#2: You Won’t Get an STD from Stealing This Pair of Socks!

It’s pretty easy to notice if you have an STD; it’s not so easy to know if you can get one. Unprotected sex is a sure way to find out, but it’s far from your only risk. Many STDs can be spread by skin-to-skin contact or through bodily fluids like saliva and blood, whether you’re actively trying to catch something or not. That means grabbing a pair of clean socks out of your roommate’s drawer could put you at risk—not just because they might have been washed in contaminated water (they probably have) but also because there are STDs that don't manifest as symptoms until months or years after they're contracted.

#3: The World Will Not Fall Apart If I Do Not Have Sex Today.

Sure, sex is great and all. But, really, it’s not that big of a deal if you miss out on it every once in a while. It may feel like everyone else is participating—or at least talking about participating—but that's just an illusion. Sure, your social calendar may suffer slightly in your first few weeks of abstention (most people won't want to hang out with someone who has given up sex), but soon enough you’ll get back into your normal routine and everything will be fine again. The world is not going to fall apart because you didn’t have sex today or even tomorrow.

#4: These Baby Bunnies Will Die Without Me.

Imagine a tiny little world where you were responsible for two sweet baby bunnies. You'd make sure they had plenty of food, shelter and even clothes to keep them warm. And though you're not crazy about giving up sex, it's totally worth it knowing that your devotion will save these adorable little guys from an early grave. If every person in America made a similar sacrifice, those bunnies would have a fighting chance at life! If you love cute socks, then help me save these baby bunnies by giving up sex today!

#5: I’ll be a Better Person and Mother Because I Don’t Want My Daughter Having Boys Over, Looking at Her Lingerie Drawer, and Getting the Wrong Idea About Relationships.

I’m thinking about getting rid of my entire collection of lacy thongs, low-cut bras, and push-up bras. But it’s not because I’m no longer proud of my body—I actually love it. It’s because in seven months I will have a little girl whom I plan to raise with good values, starting with modesty. Plus I don’t want her having boys over to play video games (which is what happens when she has guy friends over) and looking at her underwear drawer, then going home and saying to their parents: Mommy! Daddy! She doesn’t wear pretty underwear like you do. She wears ‘blankety-blank' underwear like a grandma!