5 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

5 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

If you love cute socks and want to be the first on your block to get them, then here are five reasons why you should give up sex and devote your life to cute socks.

Reason 1) Shoes

When was your last pedicure? And your last manicure? How often do you see a doctor for a checkup? Do you know how much water you drink per day or what percentage of calories are coming from carbohydrates, protein or fat? (And if not, why not?) If these seem like simple questions, then you haven’t really given up sex. After all, those aren’t even intimate questions; they’re maintenance questions.

Reason 2) There’s no such thing as perfect

There’s a lot of pressure to look, act, and feel perfect these days. It’s like if you don’t fit into a certain box, your entire existence is invalidated. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We need more diversity in how we view people—not less! Our differences are what make us individuals, as well as our best qualities. I know some people have body issues or self-esteem issues but I think we can all agree that life would be far better if we just embraced our imperfections instead of constantly trying to make ourselves fit into an unrealistic mold.

Reason 3) Real relationships are hard work

When you’re not coming home exhausted from a 12-hour workday, devoting time and energy to your significant other can feel like a job all its own. That’s why socks are so important: they’re a perfectly noncommittal way to show you care without any of that pesky cuddling or cohabitation. So put down that bouquet of flowers—and pick up some cute novelty socks instead! Here are five reasons you should give up sex in favor of cute socks

Reason 4) Some activities are more enjoyable without sexual tension

Another benefit of giving up sex is you can be present with people without any sexual tension. It’s especially nice when shopping or working in an environment that requires employees to dress nicely. Wearing cute socks under professional attire will keep your mind off sex (and men, but we won’t go there). So what are you waiting for? Join millions of women who have discovered how much more fun life is without sex! Order your first pair of colorful socks today!

Reason 5) Having cute socks will keep you warm in winter

As temperatures drop in winter, you’ll want a way to keep your feet warm. And those scratchy old wool socks just won’t cut it. But thick, soft cotton and synthetic socks will. Have you ever heard of three layers of socks? If not, we suggest investing in some! The first layer will be next-to-skin, which should help wick away moisture as your foot sweats throughout your day. The second layer is your insulating layer; think long johns on steroids.