5 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

5 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

You’re probably reading this article because you hate your life, and I don’t blame you. After all, sex can be exhausting (you have to put on clothes and leave the house, ugh). What if I told you that you could have sex on demand without any of the mess or hard work? Would you believe me? No, you wouldn’t, because it would sound too good to be true. Luckily, I’m not here to talk about having sex with people; rather, I’m here to introduce you to the wonderful world of cute socks subscriptions!

1) Cute socks are cheaper than sex

What can be more fun than a good-looking pair of socks? Not much. But in terms of bang for your buck, cute socks win every time. Depending on how often you need new socks, they could save you quite a bit of money over buying meals at restaurants or other pricey activities. For less than $10 (and free shipping), you can get six pairs of socks that will make people swoon. It’s just not worth it. Think about it: Sure, sex feels amazing and all...but does it look amazing? No—in fact, a lot of sex is pretty ugly—which is why most people aren’t taking pictures during their escapades (you know who you are). Whereas cute socks?

2) There’s no guilt in buying cute socks

Studies suggest that once we reach middle age, we feel no shame in buying nice things for ourselves. We deserve a little pampering from time to time. And who doesn’t want some new cute socks? If you aren’t already spending money on clothes, then there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t give yourself what you want. Buy something nice for yourself once in a while and enjoy it guilt-free!

3) If you have kids, cute socks will be your best friend

One of my favorite things about socks is how quickly you can change their look. Just toss them in a load of laundry with some washable markers or fabric paint, and you’ll end up with something completely different! For example, I had a plain gray pair that I decorated with little raccoons. My kids love them so much that they wear them on any occasion where dressy socks are acceptable. No more wasting money on expensive kids’ clothes – just go for cute socks instead! Maybe you want to go sockless: If your boss is cool, there’s no reason why you can’t wear socks at work.

4) With cute socks you don’t have to worry about STDs

It’s always a pleasure to see people wearing cute socks, but when it comes down to it, you don’t want any of those germs near your feet. With cute socks all you have to worry about is a little bit of perspiration. Since no one will be having sex with your feet, there’s no chance of an STD. Also, if you ever do find yourself in an awkward position involving sex again (you know where I’m going with that), they will prevent anyone from seeing your feet! That way you can just pretend that part never happened.

5) Handmade cute socks make great gifts

They’re trendy, they’re meaningful, they’re useful. One of my favorite socks is one I bought for my husband a couple years ago. They are pink polka dots with little hearts on them. Every time he wears them it makes me smile – but more importantly, it reminds me that I can make someone happy by simply giving them a gift from my heart. Handmade cute socks make great gifts because they touch people in a way that mass-produced goods can’t; it shows thoughtfulness and effort...and who doesn’t want to feel those things?