10 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks Subscriptions

10 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute socks subscriptions

If you’re like most people, you’re aware that the Cute Socks of the Month Club (CSOTMC) exists, but you haven’t taken the plunge and joined up yourself. And why should you? If there were such an amazing discount on socks, wouldn’t everyone be subscribed to it? Wouldn’t our mailboxes be constantly overflowing with packages and catalogs? Wouldn’t the postal service crumble under the weight of so many cute pairs of socks? What gives?

1) Forget about your sex drive
In a 2011 study, published in Sexual Medicine, researchers found that men who subscribe to a specific philosophy called Philosockphy report greater satisfaction with their sex lives than those who don’t. Philosockphy teaches that dressing like you give zero fucks about how you look is more important than having lots of meaningless sex. Good socks are more important than women, too. As one philosopher said, I wear good socks so often now I sometimes forget that not everyone does. Call it lazy or giving up if you want — just remember that foot fashion is an art form. Do it right by subscribing to an awesome sock subscription box like Nice Laundry!

2) Improve your taste in socks
This is just as important as improving your taste in music, art, or even friends. The time-honored fashion principal Less is more doesn't always apply. This holiday season, load up on socks. Here are some tips on how to not screw it up: (1) Don't be boring; (2) Don't over do it; (3) Don't purchase socks for a living. To help you with your new quest for cute socks let's take a look at 10 reasons why you should give up sex and devote your life to them.

3) Minimize nagging from your partner
Though most people would say nagging is never helpful, a 2014 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that being told what to do can actually improve your performance on a task. This means that if you’re trying to quit smoking, it might help to remind yourself of all of your failures when you’re on break at work. The next time you can't find your keys or miss an appointment, remember how stupid you felt. Think about what those feelings mean for your goals; chances are, they mean more than cute socks!

4) You have plenty of time!
We’re often so focused on what we want that we rush into sex because it seems like something we need. But if you think about it, there are plenty of other things that require a longer time commitment than sex—you don’t feel bad for saying no to them, so why feel bad about saying no to sex? If you still need someone special in your life, being willing to wait can help ensure that when you finally do have sex, it will be with someone truly amazing. It also might just give you some more time to focus on yourself, which is never a bad thing. Having strong boundaries around who you share your body with will strengthen any other relationship in your life and help prepare you for a healthier relationship with yourself as well!

5) Isn’t it cute?
A recent survey by Hanes found that 30% of socks do not make it to a second wearing, proving that sock owners are being forced into buying more socks than they need. With sock subscriptions like Philosockphy, you will receive a fresh pair of adorable socks delivered right to your door every month, along with monthly information about ways in which you can incorporate those adorable socks into your everyday life. For example, you might try wiggling your cute new socks at someone across from you on an airplane or wearing them with something comfortable for slouching around the house. This way, you’ll always have access to an adorable pair of new socks without having spend unnecessary money or sacrifice fashion as soon as one is soiled!

6) Save on air conditioning costs
If you’re like most people, then you probably enjoy having a nice cool air-conditioned home in the summer. If that’s true, then investing in some cute pairs of socks could make you happy year-round. In fact, if you invest just $30 a month into a sock subscription service (which is roughly what we spend on AC each month), then by next summer, you’ll have $360 worth of awesome socks! Think about how great your feet will feel when they are cozy & dry all year long! Investing in cute socks can also save you money on dry cleaning since your socks will be able to go so many more wears between washes. Don't know where to start?

7) Remember when you were a kid?
If you haven’t reached legal adulthood yet, remember when you were a kid. Not that long ago, your social network consisted of friends within arms-length of each other. These days, most of us have a vastly expanded network that includes coworkers, casual acquaintances from high school and college classes, online pals from Twitter and Facebook, old classmates from summer camp—and don’t forget family members (e.g., aunts). The point is that there are more ways than ever for people to stay in touch with each other as well as more opportunities for them to develop relationships with people who might not otherwise be part of their lives if not for modern technology.

8) Be more productive at work
Think about what truly gives you fulfillment at work. If you’re like most people, it’s probably not your job; it might be something in your life outside of work. So why are you working so hard if what makes you happy is happening after hours? Take time out of each day—after hours—to do those things that actually bring joy into your life. And by all means, never give up sex (that’s a very serious rule) but do focus more on cute socks! ;-)

9) Go sock shopping everyday (we wish!)
Buying socks should be a lot more fun than it actually is. Instead of spending your hard-earned money on boring, non-animated socks that don’t do anything but sit in your sock drawer, how about you get yourself a pair or two of these crazy sassy animated novelty socks from Crazy Sock Guy? They don’t really do anything special (but they will make you feel like you have way more personality than everybody else out there), but hey—who doesn’t love trying on new pairs of socks everyday?! We know we do. Besides, who wants to give up sex when cute things are at stake? Not us! Here are 10 reasons why you should give up sex and devote your life to cute socks: 1.

10) No one dies from lack of sex, but they do die from wearing ugly socks!
Okay, so that’s not true. But what is true is that you will have a much better life when you spend your time and money on things that are important to you rather than on things other people say are important. The choice is yours! Think of how liberating it would be if no one else had any influence over your socks! How wonderful it would be if they weren’t made by cheap labor, where you can’t know for sure whether or not workers get sick from poisonous chemicals or children get sick working all day for pennies a day because we all just want cute socks, right?