10 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

10 Reasons You Should Give Up Sex and Devote Your Life to Cute Socks

It’s time to get your priorities straight. Cute socks are in, and sex is out...because cute socks win! If you need further proof of this fact, take a look at these 10 reasons you should give up sex and devote your life to cute socks, or better yet, sign up with your email address below to receive our monthly sock of the month subscription. You can thank us later!

Reason #1 - You need your money for socks

Sure, socks aren’t expensive, but if you need to spend all your money on buying socks then you have no money left for other frivolous expenses like sex. The world would be a better place without sex anyways, so might as well stop now! And with sock subscriptions you get cool new socks every month! That’s 365+ new pairs of cool socks every year for your buck. It’s pretty hard to beat that.

Reason #2 - Learn to love being single

Starting a sock of the month subscription means you'll be in charge of choosing all your socks. This means you'll have complete control over what type of socks you buy, how many pairs you wear at once, and where on your body they go. As an added bonus, not having a partner will mean there's no one but yourself to please!

Reason #3 - When you share your socks, it’s cheating

There are plenty of sock subscription services out there. If you’re willing to go all in on cute socks, you can get multiple pairs every month delivered right to your door. But what if your partner subscribes too? Well, that’s cheating, isn’t it? I mean, they don’t even have toes! We should be putting a stop to something like that.

Reason #4 - Someone who loves you will love your socks

When you focus on having cute socks, there’s a lot less pressure on you to look good, fit into a certain size or dress to impress. Let your socks do that for you! And if someone doesn’t like your socks? Then move on; there are other people out there who will appreciate them. People who have really great taste in all things sock-related. Like cool sock subscriptions or sock of the month clubs. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t love your life goals as much as you do? No way! To lose weight safely but quickly, keep focusing on what's important: cute socks.

Reason #5 - There are too many cat videos in the world

Okay, so you can still watch cat videos on your phone or computer at work - no one will be any wiser! Plus, those hours will really add up, leading to more time for cute socks. And yes, that does include checking out all of those themed sock of the month club companies too...you won't miss sex as much when you are sipping hot cocoa with some darling kitten socks! Reason #4 - With so many sock subscriptions online, your money will really stretch: Do you really need to have sex 20 times a year when you could instead have 9 pairs of awesome socks?! Think about it...9 pairs instead of 20? Still pretty good odds. Plus with sock subscriptions, you'll save even more cash since most come with free shipping.

Reason #6 - Save yourself from disappointment

If you’re not happy with your partner, or even if you are, it can be really difficult to invest in a long-term relationship. A bigger priority than having sex should be making sure that every second of your life is happy. When we rely on others for our happiness, sex takes a backseat. But what if you could get that same satisfaction by buying cool socks? It’s true! There are some pretty awesome ones out there, like Pusheen socks, Avengers socks and more. Instead of giving into those pesky temptations to have sex when you’re not ready, keep yourself satisfied by devoting all your time to cute things!

Reason #7 - Giving up sex is easier than dealing with a breakup after you fall in love

Sure, it sucks when you start dating someone, fall for them and then things don’t work out. But not as much as it does when you fall in love with cute socks (I know, I was naive too). On a regular basis I see people who fall head over heels for a pair of cool socks. They obsess about getting them (or ones like them) and can’t imagine life without their new love. Then when that relationship ends they grieve deeply, so much so that they have to break up with those beloved boots or sandals or heels – even if they’re not actually thinking of starting something new. Also unlike humans, socks are always there for you!

Reason #8 - A cute package is like a present every month

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who adore opening birthday presents, and those who don’t. Each year, as my family’s birthdays approach, I try really hard not to wish for anything, but deep down inside I start daydreaming about all of these things that could be wrapped up in colorful paper and given to me on a special day. That’s exactly how I feel every month when there is a new pair of socks dropped off at my door.

Reason #9 - The novelty never wears off

A lot of people don’t realize it, but socks are actually very warm. And they only get warmer as you wear them. Plus, cute new socks are like free money. If you can go a whole day wearing a cute new pair of socks that gets compliments on social media, those socks just became an investment in your happiness. Why spend hundreds or thousands on therapy when all you need is a pair of funky pom-poms? Best part: If a whole day goes by with no one noticing your new sock fashion statement—no worries! Just leave them at home for tomorrow!

Reason #10 - Nothing feels better than hot new socks on cold days

It’s hard to beat a brand new pair of cute socks against your skin when you’re bundled up for winter. And there are plenty of brands making really fun styles for your toes. When it comes to comfort, you can count on brand names like Andre Assous, Golden Goose, Loeffler Randall, Oasis and more. Like many clothing items, what may be trendy today might not be so hot next year (or even next month), but socks are classic pieces that everyone needs in their closet. Pair with those boots or heeled shoes you’ve been eyeing for a look that will never go out of style.